Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Tuesday Funny: "I Watch Way Too Many Episodes of "Criminal Minds" To Continue This Conversation!"

A little while ago, a salesman from a local alarm company rang my doorbell. At the time, I was taking a late nap. I hopped out of bed, left the Aussies in my bedroom, grabbed Macy, and went to check things out. I was expecting a package that I needed to sign for from the post office, so with Macy the Pit Bull sitting politely by my side, I answered the door thinking it would be a mailman. 

Now, there is a method to my madness: Although Macy is a complete sweetheart and in reality, she would lick a person to death before ever even thinking of being aggressive,  many people see that she is a Pit Bull x and think that Macy LOOKS mean. If someone is a stranger to my home that I've never met and don't trust, I don't want them to know otherwise that she wouldn't harm so much as a fly. I want them to think, "Oh, that dog might get me if I try to mess with her owner; I better act right!". So, although I encourage Macy to visit with others and show her sweet side while we are away from home at places like pet stores and parks, my home is a different story since I live alone! She is trained to sit properly at my side anytime I answer the door (Actually, all three of them are trained that way, I usually just grab Macy though since she based on appearance only, she looks more threatening to a potential criminal than fluffy Aussies do.) For those of you wondering at this point why I didn't use a peep hole to see who was at my door: the entry doors on my home are reinforced steel, so they do not have peep holes. Hence, why I only answer the door with a dog sitting by my side!

When I opened the door I was expecting a postal worker. Instead, there was a hot sales guy standing outside of my door...A REALLY HOT SALES GUY! My first thought was, "Damn it, I have bed hair, and no makeup on!" My next thought was, "Oh crap, last nights re-run of "Criminal Minds" was about a door to door salesman that killed people....CRAP! Hot sales guy is probably going to kill me!" 

While all of this is going through my mind, hot sales guy starts giving me his best sales pitch about security alarms and his company. All I could think about was 1.) Hot sales guy is really, really hot! 2.) Hot sales guy is probably a serial killer! While he continued his sales speech, I was trying to observe him and his body language (He had on a work uniform, ID badge, and a company vehicle parked across the street that I could see. He seemed a bit nervous, but that was probably because he thought Macy was going to make a meal out of him if he made one wrong move! I'm sure he was probably legit, and most likely not a serial killer. Either way, I wasn't going to chance it! I stopped hot sales guy mid-speech, and told him, "Thank you for your time, but I already have an alarm system and it works REALLY well." (Emphasis on my alarm system working REALLY well!) His response, while timidly looking at my Pit Bull, "Oh, well if you want to get paper and a pen, I can leave you my work information in case you change your mind."  Hummm....shouldn't hot sales guy  be carrying a business card with that stuff on it already?! Of course, I then responded to that ridiculousness by telling hot sales guy, "Shouldn't you be carrying that on you if you're going door to door trying to sell things to people? I'm sorry, but I watch WAY too many episodes of "Criminal Minds" to continue this conversation!" At that point, a very stunned, very hot sales guy politely excused himself away from my front porch and took off.....

Needless to say, I have trust issues sometimes when it comes to strangers at my front door! I'm also not ashamed to admit that I check behind my shower curtains for serial killers every time I go into the bathroom...yeah, living alone has its moments haha!

Perhaps, I should maybe lay off of watching "Criminal Minds" a bit....
On second thought, I could have saved myself from a hot sales man/serial killer! Ya never know, my lovelies! 


  1. hahah... too funny... yeah, living alone is definitely interesting especially when people knock on the door. I usually hide. lol

  2. Haha I feel you on hiding! I've lived alone for quite a few years now, and I still cringe every time I hear the doorbell if I'm not expecting anyone! I just do not trust strangers at my door whatsoever!